Posts Tagged ‘Throwing Darts’

Bottelsen Darts, Made in the Usa

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Steve Porter asked:


Bottelsen darts, the inventor of the hammerhead retractable dart system, claims it is the only US based manufacturer in the darts world. Now 25 years in the business, that hammerhead system rocketed the company to fame and they are still at the cutting edge even now, with an enhanced hammerhead technology for their latest version of the famous hammerhead darts and they are in the soft dart business as well with their skinnys darts, that come in soft tip and convertible kits. Still at the cutting edge of darts technology, they are company producing quality products, and their darts are always worth a look when getting a new set.

The hammerhead system that made Bottelsen so famous is, like all great inventions, a very simple idea. The tip of the dart is connected to a very small spring rather like a tiny pogo stick, so that the tip can be pushed back into the barrel by a small amount. This means that if the dart hits a wire of the spider on the dartboard, the tip absorbs the shock of impact by retracting into the barrel, whilst hopefully the forward motion of the dart enables the dart tip to slide down the edge of the wire and enter the dartboard. It works very well and it wasnt called the Hammer Head No Bounce dart for nothing, it greatly reduced the amount of bounce outs caused by the dart board wire and staples.

One of the great things about Bottelsen darts is the great names they give their darts, like Megathrust, Devastators and Nemesis, not to mention Ooh&Aah , now what marketing genius came up with that! Seriously though they do produce some excellent darts. The original hammerhead darts were 90 % tungsten but they have a 95 % tungsten dart as well with the Devastator dart that is super slim and has spinning shafts as well. With a variety of grips to choose from with smooth coarse and edge grip.

Talking of grip, Bottelsen have a range called Gorilla Grip with an extra coarse knurled grip for that extra secure grip when throwing your darts, not everyones idea of a good grip perhaps, but just an indication of how Bottelsen tries to cater for all tastes of darters.

The darts with the ridiculous name, Ooh Aah darts were developed from the Bottelsen GT series, but the barrels are much straighter and yes they also have the hammerhead tip and of course the Bottelsen spinning shafts too. Whilst they are famous for their steel tip darts, Bottelsen also do a big range of soft tip darts as well, like their Skinnys, which as you might expect are a thin barrelled dart that can also be bought as a convertible dart set. In fact any soft tip dart is convertible to steel tip by just getting a ***** in steel point. The Skinnys convertibles have genuine Hammerhead action steel tips. They also do a soft tip version of most of their steel tip range as well like their GT, Devastators, Gorilla grip range and of course those ridiculously named Ooh Aahs.

As you might expect from Bottelsen, they have crazily named darts range called Kick Ass, which are at the less expensive end of Bottelsen’s range with lots of different colored shafts and flights.

A novel idea from Bottelsen is their Precision range, which has a fluted barrel so you can place your fingers on the barrel the same way every time to aid in consistent throwing technique with a thumb and finger indents in the dart.

So whether you are a steel tip or soft tip darter, Bottelsen Darts has a set for you, with 25 years of consistent quality, you wont go far wrong with a set of Bottelsens.



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Sudoku – A Riddle That Begs To Be Solved

Monday, November 24th, 2008

Charles Hawkins asked:


The Sudoku riddle has hit worldwide mass media and newspapers with such a considerable impact, that it has to be the puzzle game promotion of the century. But what is it that give rise to drawing numbers into small boxes so extremely addictive?

One part of the mix has definitely to be outright simplicity of the mystery. The directions of Sudoku are so easy to grasp that any person can start solving almost without delay.Yet complete mastery of the game call for serious extent of puzzle solving and patience. A Sudoku brainteaser can also be made so incomprehensible that even a virtuoso could have a hard time solving it.

Contrary to what many would believe when they initially see a Sudoku enigma, this brain-teasing exercise doesn’t require markedly high understanding of math. It is more a matter of common sense and the numeral characters could, in fact, be changed with any other symbol.

A lesson in determination

Although it might seem ridiculous to draw a parallel between sitting in the sofa playing Sudoku and throwing darts, bear with me for a second and I will get to the point.

I recall when I was a kid and we spent the vacation at our cottage in the countryside. One day my sibling and I found an old darts game – not like the extravagant ones they use in indoors dart competitions, but more of a robust “outdoors” (or whatever the term is) type of dartboard with digits from one on the outside to ten in the bulls eye, and rather compact and firm darts.

Neither of us where very good at throwing darts, so it was a good decision we hung the dart target on the outside wall of an old shed. After a while though, I managed to get quite a good score – 42 with five darts.

Luck had much to do with it of course, but now something interesting happened. My sister would not quit before she had gotten at least the same score as me!

I think she fired away at that dart board for a pair of hours without interruption, and had she been a character in a comic she would probably certainly have been portrayed with a black rain cloud over her head, so to speak. It started to get dark before she finally had flattened my record and could allow herself to quit.

It is genuinely startling to observe such determination.

Although having very little to do with Sudoku puzzles per se, I think the same kind of driving influence is also partially “blamable” for the addictiveness of the Sudoku brainteaser.

Most might love a test, provided that there is really a somewhat sensible possibility to crop up “victorious” in the end. When tackling a fittingly tricky Sudoku enigma a participant can sometimes enter almost a trance like state where he or she just can’t put down the pen before they have crushed the Sudoku contest. Much in the same way as it happend in that dart game many years ago.

So as you see, the simple goal of breaking a record or solving a puzzle – although very basic things – can have a profound effect on a persons reactions.

This is all good, as Sudoku is a very low-cost hobby that definitely provides a good work out for the brain.However, should something very catch fire in the vincinity or if the neighbor is drowning – by all means put that Sudoku puzzle aside for just a few minutes.



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How do i practise darts?

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

tooler asked:


How do i practise darts properly instead of just throwing darts at the dart board and iming for T.20

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throwing darts at people. youtube painting

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

valsartdiary asked:


See what happens when Val plays with darts…
KIDS: Please don’t try this at home.

This painting/episode is dedicated to all my subscribers and YouTube! Sorry If I seem a lilttle out there…. but I really felt sick while shooting it :( If you won a painting in this episode make sure to PM me by Wednesday. If you like this “YouTube” painting, well I will be giving away posters of this piece :) So stay tuned!

If you’d like to buy this or other paintings go to my website
http://www.valsartdiary.com

TIPS FOR ARTISTS!

Click on the link below for tips on creating art but also promoting and selling it on the internet. I also have a 16 minute long video in which I talk about my journey to becoming a full-time artist. Check it out!
http://www.valsartdiary.com/valsarttips/Vals_Art_Tips_2.html

xox
val

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What is the expected average score on a dart board, when throwing three darts randomly?

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

JP asked:


Assuming each dart hits a scoring number each time. If every scoring region was the same area it would be the average of all of the numbers, but the single areas are bigger than the double and treble. Then on top of that there is the 25 and 50 (bull).

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What is the best way to practice throwing darts?

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

atlbrave10114 asked:


I throw darts a lot and I was wondering if anyone had a specific method, rather than just throwing a cricket numbers that would help improve form and accuracy.

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

Whats a good way to protect a wall from throwing darts?

Friday, August 10th, 2007

area205 asked:


I’m renting a place right now and I want to make sure the wall does’nt get damaged while playing.

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

How To Play And Throw Darts

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

Jeffrey Fang asked:


At one stage in his career Phil Taylor was practising for up to eleven hours a day. Darts players do not get the credit they deserve for all their skill and dedication. They may not be athletes in the popular sense of the word but it takes great levels of skill, endurance and concentration to perform on stage under lights at a high level for a couple of hours. In most other sports other than darts Phil Taylor would have already been recognised universally as one of Britain’s all time top sportsman.

Throwing darts accurately and consistently is a skill which requires a great deal of concentration and excellent hand and eye coordination. Any the factors listed below can have a dramatic effect on a person’s performance.

Which eye to use for your aim?

The stance at the oche.

The grip, holding the dart.

The throw.

The aim.

The positioning of the elbow.

Many people can hit big scores but the key to successful darts is accuracy and consistency. You need to develop a consistent throw with every movement the same. To help you achieve this use the vertical line as a training tool. Draw a chalk line through the centre of your board from double top to double three. For a couple of sessions purely concentrate on hitting that line. If you find you are consistently hitting left or right of the mark, readjust your throw until you are consistently hitting the line. Once you have developed a consistent straight throw, you are well on the way to becoming a competent darter. In darts nothing destroys your confidence quicker than regularly hitting fives and ones when going for the treble twenty. Once your line is right and you consistently find the twenty you can then concentrate on hitting the treble on a regular basis. There are obviously many more aspects to successful darts but a straight throw is critical.

Throwing Darts

Playing the game of darts can be a good recreational activity, as well as a good sport provided an individual knows the technique of throwing darts.

To learn the technique of throwing darts, one should understand that the dart travels through a curve, and the speed with which the dart is thrown should continue the movement until it reaches and strikes the dartboard.

The throwing of darts is completed through five stages — aiming, backward move, and acceleration, release and a follow through. While taking e aim, the dart, the eye and the target have to be in a same line. Backward movement of the dart has to done slowly and by controlling the aim, which normally comes with practice. Acceleration, although not essential, has to be done very smoothly, allowing it to go along with the follow through. If the throwing technique is right, the proper release comes naturally. Follow through is keeping the same position for a while, even after release, that is to aim at the target.

While throwing a dart one should not move the whole body, but the movement should be restricted to the arm alone. The elbow should be in a fixed position while moving backward and should be alleviated during acceleration. Using the wrist to throw a dart does not really help, but many people believe that by using their wrist, they can gain the required speed. To get best results while throwing darts and to avoid the dart from wobbling, one should use standard form flights and middle length shafts. Moreover to get the best throw, the darts should not point too much upward or downward.



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What is the best bar for throwing darts on the West Side of Cleveland?

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

David asked:


I live in Elyria and it is almost impossible to find a laid back bar with dart boards that are available for play on a weekend night. The bars I know of either have poor quality dart boards or they are too loud and crazy on a weekend night.

Does anyone have any ideas for me?

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Darts: Sharpening Darts Vs. Rounding Darts

Sunday, June 17th, 2007

Len Q. asked:


You could really be good at throwing darts. You could have fantastic scores. It really wouldn’t matter though if your darts keep bouncing off the dartboard, if they won’t stick. After all, if they won’t stick, what’s the use, right?

Sharpening or rounding darts for sport or for competition is a good skill to develop, especially if you’re a player. The dart points aren’t actually meant to be sharp, even though they may be when you first buy them. Who woulda’ thought? Sharp dart points ruin a dartboard by nicking the wires, permanently damaging them. They will actually cause darts to bounce too often off the dartboard. Not a good thing at all. And the sharp points won’t stay sharp very long. The points will often bend or roll over upon impact.

Many times a burr will form on a sharp pointed dart after sticking. This very small, very thin wire coming off the tip will cause dartboard fibers to be wrenched free when you’re pulling them off the board. Burrs are very bad for dart boards. To check for a burr, hold the dart with the tip up. Run a fingernail up the side of the point. If there is a burr, your fingernail will catch on it. Should this happen, a dart sharpener, or sandpaper, can easily be used to remove the burr. Remember that it is a fingernail and not a finger tip to use. A burr is a hell of a splinter to have to remove.

So if you don’t want it sharp, then what? Straight up, the point of a dart should be rounded. Rounded just like a ballpoint pen. Rounded tips do not damage a dartboard. They will slide past the wires instead of cutting them. There is no cleaving and, thus no burr will form. Interestingly, rounded-tip darts will stick to a dartboard much more than will sharp-tip darts. How about that? Don’t fight it. That’s just how it goes. And when you loosen the dart, dartboard fibers will not be pulled free. Even better.

Some dart players believe that a dart point should not be sharp or round. They believe that they don’t even need to be maintained. Just play on! This is not good. Oh, no. An unmaintained dart tip will not stay round, it will become flat. This flat-tipped dart will simply bounce right off the dartboard, whether it strikes the wires or the board fibers. And because flat tips compress dartboard fibers upon impact, repeated use will ruin the dartboard, making it very difficult for darts to stick at all.

When the point of a dart begins to flatten, we only want to sharpen the tip enough to round it for use. There are hollow, cylindrical dart sharpening stones that may be used to sharpen the dart tip. These concave stones are very common sharpeners for darts. Small, flat rectangular sharpening stones for darts are also available. If all else is unavailable, use very coarse sandpaper. Simply wrap the sandpaper around the tip, pinch it firmly and rotate the tip until the dart becomes sharp.

Now that the tip is sharp, you’ll want to round it. Place the tip down on a sharpening stone or sand paper as though it were standing on end. Slowly spin the dart in place until the tip dulls just a little. Now tip the dart downward ever so slightly and spin it again just a handful of times. And now you’re done. If you don’t trust yourself to hold the dart still while spinning it, put the stone and dart-or your hand holding the dart-flush against a wall, or immobile solid structure, and then round the dart.

If your darts are dirty, clean them with water and a soft soap. Thoroughly dry them. Now they can be stored without worry of rust. But, if they do become rusty, sandpaper will easily do the trick. Lubricate the points with oil, wipe them as dry as possible and then store them. If cared for consistently, your darts, and not the flights, could last a lifetime.

Remember to keep your darts rounded. Not sharp, and definitely not flat. It’ll only take a couple of minutes of your time to keep them in their best condition. It may improve your scoring and will surely lengthen the life of your dartboard. Good luck!



Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

Who would win a throwing darts contest between a Resse’s Peanut Butter Cup Vs a Twix Candybar?

Thursday, May 24th, 2007

Scooter_loves_his_dad asked:


One of my contacts complained that i like fighting to much so i changed the rules. This is a friendly contest. A dart throwing contest. who would win? :P

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How to Play Darts : Correct Form for Throwing Darts

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

expertvillage asked:


Learn the correct form for throwing darts in this free video on dart game strategies, tips and techniques.

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

I would like too know how to practise darts?

Saturday, December 9th, 2006

tooler asked:


I would like to know does anyone know how i can practice darts without just throwing darts at the dart board and aiming for treble 20 could anyone give me some routines?

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

how to play darts and the measurements to hang the board?

Monday, August 14th, 2006

Paul I asked:


how high to hang the dart board and how far to stand away while throwing darts

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

Darts: Sharpening Vs. Rounding

Wednesday, February 8th, 2006

anonymous asked:


really be good at throwing darts. You could have fantastic scores. It really wouldn’t matter though if your darts keep bouncing off the dartboard, if they won’t stick. After all, if they won’t stick, what’s the use, right?

Sharpening or rounding darts for sport or for competition is a good skill to develop, especially if you’re a player. The dart points aren’t actually meant to be sharp, even though they may be when you first buy them. Who woulda’ thought? Sharp dart points ruin a dartboard by nicking the wires, permanently damaging them. Interestingly, they will cause the darts to bounce quite regularly off the dartboard. Not a good thing at all. And the sharp points won’t stay sharp very long. The points will often bend or roll over upon impact.

Many times a burr will form on a sharp pointed dart after sticking. This very small, very thin wire coming off the tip will cause dartboard fibers to be wrenched free when you’re pulling them off the board. Burrs are the enemy of dartboards. To check for a burr, hold the dart with the tip up. Run a fingernail up the side of the point. If there is a burr, your fingernail will catch on it. Should this happen, a dart sharpener, or sandpaper, can easily be used to remove the burr. Remember that it is a fingernail and not a finger tip to use. A burr is a hell of a splinter to have to remove.

So if you don’t want it sharp, then what? Straight up, the point of a dart should be rounded. Just like a ballpoint pen. Rounded tips do not damage a dartboard. They will slide past the wires instead of cutting them. There is no cleaving and, thus no burr will form. Interestingly, rounded-tip darts will stick to a dartboard much more than will sharp-tip darts. How about that? Don’t fight it. That’s just how it goes. And when you loosen the dart, dartboard fibers will not be pulled free. Even better.

Some dart players believe that a dart point should not be sharp or round. They truly think that darts need no maintenance whatever. Just play on! This is not good. Oh, no. An unmaintained dart tip will not stay round, it will become flat. Once your dart tip has become flattened, it’ll bounce right off the dartboard no matter where it lands. And because flat tips compress dartboard fibers upon impact, repeated use will ruin the dartboard, making it very difficult for darts to stick at all.

When the point of a dart begins to flatten, we only want to sharpen the tip enough to round it for use. There are hollow, cylindrical dart sharpening stones that may be used to sharpen the dart tip. These concave stones are fantastic sharpeners for dars. Small, flat rectangular sharpening stones for darts are also available. If all else is unavailable, use very coarse sandpaper. Simply wrap the sandpaper around the tip, pinch it firmly and rotate the tip until the dart becomes sharp.

Now that the tip is sharp, you’ll want to round it. Place the tip down on a sharpening stone or sand paper as though it were standing on end. Slowly spin the dart in place until the tip dulls just a little. Now tip the dart downward ever so slightly and spin it again just a handful of times. And now you’re done. If you don’t trust yourself to hold the dart still while spinning it, put the stone and dartor your hand holding the dartflush against a wall, or immobile solid structure, and then round the dart.

If your darts are dirty, clean them with water and a soft soap. Thoroughly dry them. Now they can be stored without worry of rust. But, if they do become rusty, sandpaper will easily do the trick. Lubricate the points with oil, wipe them as dry as possible and then store them. If cared for consistently, your darts, and not the flights, could last a lifetime.

Remember to keep your darts rounded. Definitely not sharp and surely not flat. It’ll only take a couple of minutes of your time to keep them in their best condition. It may improve your scoring and will surely lengthen the life of your dartboard. Good luck!



Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

How to Play Darts : Basic Skills for Throwing Darts

Thursday, May 5th, 2005

expertvillage asked:


Learn basic skills for throwing darts in this free video on dart game strategies, tips and techniques.

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

Would you expect someone who selected stocks by throwing darts at stock market reports in the newspaper to?

Friday, April 1st, 2005

blondiebrii asked:


experience systemically different economic profits than an expert financial analysts who spent hours everyday studying the stock market?

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Important Exercise Principles

Friday, March 18th, 2005

Martin Kallak asked:


Below follows a description of some basic exercise principles that needs to be understood before effectively engaging in any exercise program.

The main forms of exercise dealt with here are:

Cardiovascular exercise

Strengt training

Sports-specific training

Three basic principles

In order to be specific in your exercise goals it is important to understand a little bit about how exercise affects various systems in your body . The next section intends to explain some of the main responses in your body to different form of exercise.

There are three basic principles that needs to be applied to any form of exercise in order to be successful

These three main principles are:

Specificity

Progression

Overload

Specificity

The specificity principle can be interpreted and applied in many different ways depending on what you want to improve ,specificity can apply to muscle groups,energy systems or specific movements or activities.

You can break down and apply the principle almost any way you like to fit your specific goals within and exercise program. However, in its simplest most general form specificity means that in order to get better at any type of skill or activity you need to perform that activity, this means that if you want to get better at swimming you need to swim,if you want to be a better runner you need to run, throwing darts you need to throw darts etc..

Overload

The principle of overload states that a greater than normal load is required if adaptation is to take place. The body will then adapt to the increased stimulus of the specific tissue or system we want to affect. When the body has adapted, a greater and/or different stimulus is required to continue the adaptation process. In order for a muscle (including the heart) to increase in strength, it must be gradually stressed by working against a load greater than it is accustomed to.

Progression

The principle of progression refers to the rate of which overload is applied. In principle there exists an optimal rate of which to apply overload to achieve optimal results. Overload should not be increased too slowly or improvement will not take place. In the event that overload is increased too rapidly it will result in injury or muscle damage and most certainly no improvement. For example, an athlete that exercises only sporadically and with too much overload violates both the principle of overload and the principle of progression and will not achieve good results.

As you can see, these three principles are highly interconnected and are reciprocally dependent on eachother. They also relate strongly to additional principles like those of adaptation and individual differences.

Aerobic and anaerobic exercise

Aerobic exercise is a term used to describe the forms of exercise that utilizes oxygen as the main source of energy. Aerobic exercises are generally speaking exercises of a cyclical and repetetive nature over a reatively long period time, such as jogging, cycling and swimming.

Aerobic exercise makes the heart work harder to pump the required amount of blood through the body at a faster rate. This is a direct response to the working tissues increased need for oxygen . As blood is pumped faster through the body it must also be reoxygenated at a higher rate, which is why respiration frequency will also increase.

Aerobic exercise strengthens the heart muscle and increase the vital capacity of your respiratory system. Low intensity aerobics include walking and swimming. Running, tennis and dance are examples of high intensity aerobics.

Anaerobic exercise on the other hand consists of short duration, high intensity activities, which last up to about 2 minutes. There are two types of anaerobic energy systems, the ATP energy system, which utilize creatine phosphate as the main energy source, and the anaerobic glycolysis system that use glycogen when oxygen is not present. Intense exercise that lasts up to 30 seconds mainly uses creatine phosphate as an energy source and from 30 seconds and onwards the glycolysis system takes over. glycogen is mainly derived from carbohydrates and glucose. Examples of anaerobic exercises include weigth lifting, sprint and other non-endurance exercise activities.

Cardiovascular Exercise

Cardiovascular exercise refer to exercises that target the cardiovascular system. These types of exercises are mainly aerobe. Examples of cardiovascular exercises are running,cycling and swimming

Strength training

Strengt training is a form of anaerob exercise that has the goal of increasing the strength of skeletal muscles. It can be utilized for both rehabilitation and fitness purposes as well as in sports specific training. In this section follows a basic description of som of the main principles of strength training.

Strength Training Principles:

There are three fundamental elements to a successful strength training program

Overload: To experience gains in strength the muscle must be loaded more than it is accustomed to.

Progression: The active muscle must work against a gradually increasing resistance in order to meet the overload.

Specificity: Gains in strength are dependent on the muscle group used, and movement pattern performed

Gains in strength are not necessarily due to increased muscle size or cross sectional area. This is particularly true in the very first phase of starting a new strength training program.

The changes that takes place in this very first phase is mainly due to the nervous system adapting to new stimuli. The centers of the brain controlling movement learns to recruit the neural pathways of the specific movement more efficiently. As a results increased strength and load-bearing capacity is achieved . The principle of specificity particularly applies in this respect.



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Whats a good way to protect a wall from throwing darts?

Thursday, March 17th, 2005

area205 asked:


I’m renting a place right now and I want to make sure the wall does’nt get damaged while playing.

Click here to go to the ultimate Baseball Darts Store

PPC And The Banner Ads

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005

Scott Lindsay asked:


Banner ads seemed to have gone the way of the Dodo bird. In essence these forms of advertising on the web were relegated to link exchange programs as Pay Per Click (PPC) advertising came to dominance. PPC relies more heavily on target consumer activity and remains a no-frills, cost effective way to reach targeted consumers.

However, today we find Flash driven banner advertising that can be essentially a video that makes the advertising stand out.

Google has become involved in bringing banner ads back. What was once considered a dinosaur is now getting a second look as an enhanced form of PPC advertising.

No longer does the simple PPC advertising have to be the only option for online business.

The common problem with link exchange programs has been that businesses can only work with a comparatively small pool of participants. The price is right, but it never really provides the jump-start to a business that other Search Engine Optimization (SEO) strategies can produce.

In many cases link exchange has been a bit like throwing darts wearing a blindfold – you never really know what your shooting at and even after you’ve let go of the dart you have no idea what, if anything, it hit.

The value behind the Google brand allows some hope that banner ads with all their glitz and glamour can provide a super-sized PPC experience that is targeted, attractive and effective.

If you’re an online business owner you know how important it is to find marketing skills that work. You most likely are looking for strategies that are designed to assist you long-term in search engine rankings as well as shorter-term PPC strategies that drive targeted customers to your site in the near term.

I know it can feel a bit like throwing your money to the wind and hoping somebody will recognize you as the source, but many times advertising just doesn’t afford the opportunity to quantify the effectiveness of the effort.

Advertising can be a bit like planting a garden. You till the soil and add compost. Then you plant the seeds, weed the rows, water the soil and wait. It can seem as if nothing is happening, but underneath the ground the soil is about to yield a living plant that in turn will yield a vegetable. The end result of your spring planting won’t be realized until the fall.

PPC advertising may be a little better than that, but it can still be a point of multiple impressions that ultimately result in a greater level of trust that in the end results in an online sale.

The question is, will banner ads now become a significant part of PPC programs?



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A Night at the Retirement Lounge

Monday, August 23rd, 2004

Kemberly Wardlaw asked:


A guy walked into retirement. At the same time, he walked into a wall.

At a table tucked away in a dark corner, three life long acquaintances looked up from their conversation. They laughed at the misdirected stranger and his inebriated guidance toward financial betterment. The giggles faded as Mr. Exchange, Ms. Investor, and Mr. Government resumed their evening at the lounge.

“It happened last Saturday,” Mr. Exchange stated. “As I waited for my dinner bill, I began a conversation with a person sitting at the table next to mine. A few weeks ago, he put in a trade order online to buy additional shares of a position, but accidentally clicked the button to short shares. He did not realize his mistake until the next morning, but by that time the position had fallen ten percent due to a bad earnings report. He thought he had lost a lot of money and would not be able to cover the checks recently drafted on the account. However, it played out to his advantage. You see, to correct the issue, he ended up placing a “buy to cover” order and made money on the error. Within a few days, the position was trading back to its previous highs. This guy concluded that if he made money accidentally, imagine how much he could make if he really put mind power behind the trades.”

“That’s just silly,” commented Ms. Investor. “It’s like investments on tap. The ideas keep pouring, but the glass of education and reason never fills.”

“Here’s the kicker,” concluded Mr. Exchange. “He just put down a $5000 deposit for a stock trading seminar in Las Vegas. When he returns from the trip, he plans on quitting his job, liquidating his 401k, and begin trading for a living.”

Mr. Government interrupted by asking, “When do you think I’ll get my tax dollars?”

“Don’t worry,” consoled Mr. Exchange. “You’ll get your cut soon enough.”

Their attention soon turned to a joyful group of novice investors gathered around the dart boards.

“Check out the new investors over there throwing darts at the big board,” pointed Mr. Government. “You think they might get lucky and peg a profitable stock?”

“I have never seen them in here before,” added Ms. Investor. “They seem overly optimistic to me.”

“Watch this,” Mr. Exchange instructed. He turned to the novice investors and yelled, “Pardon me, are those horns on your head or are you just too bullish for your own common sense?” The new investors appeared surprised at Mr. Exchange’s brazen temperament and turned away in embarrassment. Mr. Exchange often surprised people with his volatile and sometimes irrational behaviors.

Ms. Investor and Mr. Government laughed at their friend’s jeering.

“Hey, let’s leave this place and go tax something,” offered Mr. Government.

“That may be fun for you,” replied Mr. Exchange. “But it gets tedious for us.”

Ms. Investor turned to Mr. Government and said, “Explain something to me. With my taxable investment account, capital gains and losses are categorized as either long term or short term. If I realize a capital gain in any given year, you’ll tax me on the full amount. However, if my realized capital loss exceeds my realized capital gain, I can only use three-thousand dollars of the loss against other income. Also, if my realized loss exceeds three-thousand dollars, I have to carry the loss forward to the next year until it is exhausted.”

Mr. Government squirmed in his chair and asked “So what’s your point?”

“Well, I want to keep a tax efficient portfolio, but I am having trouble doing so. I just can’t comprehend the logic,” Ms. Investor stated. “Why just three-thousand dollars? Why not more?”

“Look, you should be happy you’re not taxed on the unrealized gains in your portfolio,” Mr. Government added.

Interrupting the heated exchange, Mr. Exchange interjected, “Come on you two. If one of you makes money, it means the other has made money.”

The investor looked briefly at Mr. Government, shook her head in disbelief, and sipped on her glass of humility.

To lighten the mood, Mr. Exchange said, “Okay, here’s a good one. Stop me if you’ve heard it before. What did the blue chip company ask the tight-wire walker?”

“I don’t know,” responded Ms. Investor and Mr. Government simultaneously. “What did the blue chip company ask the tight-wire walker?”

“Will you please help me with my balance sheet?”

Ms. Investor and Mr. Government chuckled with forced and insincere laughter.

The lights dim and Ms. Investor looked around the lounge. She observed the patrons. “This place has all types, doesn’t it? It does not discriminate. We have the rich and the not so rich. The long-term and the short-term investors. We have fundamental analysts and technical analysts. Investors looking for growth, investors looking for income, and all those in between. Domestic investors, international investors, and global investors. We have broken spirits and spirits raised by good fortune. One person sheds tears of defeat while another cries with happiness. At any given time, we may have aggressive selling or aggressive buying. Yep, this place has something for everyone.”

Just then, Mr. Exchange noticed the group of new investors walk from the game room to a nearby table. He resumed his heckling and yelled, “Hey new investors! Are you growing fur on your back or are you just too bearish to stay fully invested?” Once again, Mr. Exchange received positive reinforcement when Ms. Investor and Mr. Government laughed loudly.

The abusive behaviors finally caught the attention of the lounge owner. He approached the three buddies and asked for better manners. Mr. Exchange and Mr. Government laughed louder.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Mr. Exchange sarcastically apologized. “How’s about sending them a bottle of intoxicating gains, on me.”

“And send them a tax burden on me!” added Mr. Government.

The lounge owner turned to Ms. Investor and asked, “Why do you associate with these two guys?”

Ms. Investor looked up with a slight frown and answered, “I cannot figure my retirement without them.”



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